Fall Upon Me

~

Let the sun-shined flecks of rain,
faded as they may be,
fall upon me,
from head,
to heart,
to toe.

~

Do not let me forget
the time when I was me with you,
as our love so fervently poured
upon our plans and dreams,
when the clouds were but inspiration
for a love that could not be undone
and a passion which could not be forsaken.

~

Tie me ever to your existence,
to whatever form you take up there;
clothe me lightly in your memory,
so that I cannot forget
the one and how
he taught me how to love.

~

© 2012 Dana Renee’ Billingsley

Waves

~

There was only so much
you could take
at once
and so
you swallowed the sand
slowly,
bit by bit,
so you wouldn’t feel
the sharp-suffocating edge of it.

~

Each grain seemed
so final;
You never thought it’d come
pouring down,
filling up every crevice of you,
cutting through you,
skin to skin…

~

But don’t try
not to feel this;
face these tiny,
now-numerous shards
cutting at you
so deep
always with the knowledge…

~

Always knowing that each wave,
of happiness,
laughter,
of forgiveness,
salvation and love,
of moving on,
and living
will take away
the pain.

~

© 2012 Dana Renee’ Billingsley

Etched

Our hearts whispered inaudible words,
reaching the depths of all we were;
so quickly
my heart was yours
and yours was mine.

.

We touched violently upon the hands of our futures
with just one look,
one kiss,
not knowing what it held,
but we couldn’t stop the rush to us.

.

Instinctually, we grasped and vowed
to never let go.
Sometimes I wonder if our souls knew
more than we -
it all happened so fast.

.

Now, I am here without you,
so fully aware that you,
are a part of me,
etched into my skin,
quaking in the vessels of my heart,
a rainless thunder in the depths of my soul,
aching in every ounce
of me.

.

© 2012 Dana Renee’ Billingsley

The Worth

~

In the moments of silence,
there was no contemplation,
only this knowing of us
and holding
to the impossibility of forever.

~

In love, we didn’t see beyond, 
to the probabilities of separation
and torturous sorrows
that would plague our future
and mark our end.

~

Still, even in our endings,
we found strength and hope
in this precious love,
for the worth of holding onto us
was greater than any possibility.

~

©2011 Dana Renee’ Billingsley

Trapped Apologies

~

I ache every time I hear myself say it in my head
and out loud,
the pit of my stomach free-falling in a mix of
consuming pain and love.

~

I wish there were a stronger word,
that could take this pain from us
and our memory,
more-so to know that you hear me
and have your response.

~

I know what it would be – because we forgave so much,
but I still long for the reassurance of your embrace;
it is an impossibility made possible
by your absence from this world.

~

So here my apologies will remain,
trapped in my heart and floating around
in the energy that I give off,
never to be said face to face in this life,
but I will try to find my solace – in what lies beyond.

~

© 2011 Dana Renee’ Billingsley 

~

Midnight Sky

Once, I was moistened earth,
nourished by your love,
swept away and spinning softly in your kisses,
as you painted my heart with yours.
.

For a time, I was healing,
sweetened by your constant embrace.
.

Now, your death threatens cold, dry;
there is no quench to this thirst,
your sun no longer warms my skin,
and I am fading in this midnight sky.

.

© 2011 Dana Renee’ Billingsley
.
.

Related Writing: Appeasement (2007)  

.

.

Tell Me

Cut off
from the rest of your world,
I feel lost,
alone.
.
.
Just
give me a moment
of you.
.
.
Tell me you
are
looking down
on me,
that
though you’re “in a better place”,
your heart still
aches for me.
.
.
Cause I cannot bear
these moments when
my heart runs wild,
with this ever-hopeful
love,
only to be
torn apart,
halted at the blunt force
of
realization
that you
are never coming back,
and the source of this flame
will forever be gone from this
messed up world.
.
.
I just wanna know
that somewhere in that perfect world
up there
your love still shines on,
still aches
for me.

.
.
© 2011 Dana Renee’ Billingsley